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The Govealo

Quite remarkable to think this is over eight years old now. This was my first ever 'viral' blog post, which attempted to recreate a popular children's book based on a certain Education Secretary. I hope you enjoy it.


The Govealo.

A pupil took a stroll through the deep dark wood.

A teacher saw the pupil and the pupil looked good.

“Where are you going to, not following rules?

"Come and have lunch in my LEA school."

"It’s terribly kind of you, Teacher, but no -

I’m going to have lunch with a govealo."


“A govealo? What’s a govealo?"

“A govealo! Why, didn't you know?"


He has King James Bibles, and no-notice inspections.

Bet you wish you’d voted Labour at the last elections.


"Where are you meeting him?”

"Here in this academy canteen,

That sells Turkey Twizzlers if you know what I mean."


"What would Jamie Oliver say?" Teacher said.

"Goodbye little pupil," and away he sped.


"Silly old Teacher! Doesn't he know?

There’s no getting rid of a govealo!"


On went the pupil through the deep dark wood.

A head saw the pupil and the pupil looked good.

"Where are you going to with your low aspirations?

Come to my state school - we have high expectations."


"Its frightfully nice of you, Head, but no -

I’m going to an academy with a govealo."


"A govealo? Whats a govealo?"

" A govealo! Why, didn't you know?"


"He has lots of Conservative Party donors

That he’s going to turn into academy owners."


"Where are you meeting him?"

"Here in this pub with a view of the water,

And maybe we’ll see David Cameron’s daughter. "


David Cameron’s daughter? That’s a safeguarding issue!

Goodbye little pupil." and off he flew.


"Silly old Head! Doesn't he know,

Theres no getting rid of a govealo?"


On went the pupil through the deep dark wood.

A TA saw the pupil and the pupil looked good.

"Where are you going with poor behaviour and skills?

Come to my state school for some ritalin pills"

"It's wonderfully kind of you, TA, but no -

I’m going to a free school with a Govealo."


"A govealo? What's a govealo?"

"A govealo! Why didn't you know?"


"He furnished his flat at the taxpayers’ expense,

And comes up with policies that don’t make any sense."


"Where are you meeting him?"

"Here, by the Downhills school,

They don’t want an academy, but they’ve been overruled."


"Despite parents’ opinions? That’s not fair play!

“Goodbye, little pupil I’m going away.”


"Silly old TA! Doesn’t she know?

There’s no getting rid of a Goveal...

...Oh"


But who is this creature with phonics tests

And journalist’s skills, so he thinks he knows best?

He has a computer full of deleted emails

and he likes to tell people that they have failed.

He’s given the teachers a three year pay freeze;

Now he wants to abolish the GCSEs


"Oh help! Oh no!"

Its a govealo!"


"My new curriculum," the Govealo said

"Is far too complex for your thick head!"


"Thick?" said the pupil. "Don’t call me thick!

I’ll have you know, that I think you’re a prick!

Just walk behind me and you'll soon see,

Everyone wants to educate me."


"All right." said the Govealo, bursting with laughter.

"You go ahead and I'll follow after."


They walked and walked till the Govealo said;

"I see a state school in the clearing ahead.”


"Its’ a TA," said the pupil. "Why, TA, hello!"

TA took one look at the Govealo.

"Do you really think that you’ll have much impact,

Through making pupils learn lots of facts?"


"You see?" said the pupil. "I told you so."

"Amazing!" said the Govealo.


They walked some more till the Govealo said,

"I see another LEA school up ahead.”


"It’s Head," said the pupil. "Why, Head, hello!"

Head took one look at the Govealo.

“So you plan to throw all of our work in the bin,

Just so you can bring the O-Levels back in?”


"You see?" said the pupil. "I told you so"

"Astounding!" said the Govealo.


They walked some more till the Govealo said;

"I see yet another state school up ahead."


"It’s Teacher," said the pupil. "Why, Teacher, hello!"

Teacher took one look at the Govealo.

“Just when we thought we couldn’t take any more,

You went and appointed Sir Michael Wilshaw.”


"Well, Govealo." said the pupil. "you see?

Everyone wants to educate me!


But now I want educating in the new build we were promised,

You say there’s no money, but I don’t think you’re honest!”

“Not honest? Ridiculous!” the Govealo said

I’m off to the Leveson enquiry,” he replied with some dread.


Despite good GCSEs, the pupil started to cry.

He couldn’t get a job with unemployment so high!

A Quiz on Adjectives.

1. What is an adjective?
A cartoon character
A sound that you make when you’ve eaten your food too quickly
A describing word

2. What function will an adjective normally serve in a sentence?
It will serve drinks
It will give more information about a noun
It will sing a nice song during hard times

3. Which of the following is an adjective?
burning
David
warm

4. Which of the following is an adjective?
soft
jumping
anger

5. Look at the following sentence: Reginald has hairy hands. Which is the adjective?
hands
Reginald
hairy

Score =
Correct answers:

A Quiz on Adverbs

1. What is an adverb?
A ball game
A second sound that you make when you’ve eaten your food too quickly
A describing word

2. What function will an adverb normally serve in a sentence?
It stops water escaping
It will give more information about a verb, adjective, or another adverb
It makes sure a fight doesn’t break out

3. Which two letters are commonly found at the end of adverbs?
ma
pa
ly

4. Which of the following is an adverb?
suddenly
calm
whispering

5. Look at the following sentence: Denise looked lovingly at the chocolate. Which is the adverb?
Denise
lovingly
chocolate

Score =
Correct answers:

Classroom Displays.

Classroom displays don't need to be hard work. Simply download our FREE posters and get the job done in half the time. The posters have common themes running throughout, so you have continuity, bright colours and engaging characters, whose exploits you can follow in the weekly comic available free via the Facebook or Twitter page.

This is a wonderful example of a display from a classroom in Milton Keynes.

Engaging Parents

http://thepunctuationshow.com/Treasure/Parents_Guidemm.png

We all want parents to be more engaged in what we do, because engaged parents mean that their children will be more engaged.

Our free Parents' Guide can be downloaded here.

Please feel free to distribute this from your own school website (not personal website please).

Regards

Barrie

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Company Information

The Punctuation Show and everything on this site is owned by PODCASTREVISION LTD
Director: Barrie McDermid
Company number - 06990962
VAT Reg - 978 170187
Public Liability Insurance cover for £1,000,000

The mission of The Punctuation Show is to raise attainment through entertainment and encourage pupils to learn through laughter. We aim to please in everything we do and will go out of our way to provide outstanding customer service.


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