thepunctuationshow.com

Raising attainment through entertainment and learning through laughter.

The Punctuation Show Blog.

Welcome to The Punctuation Show Blog page. Check back regularly for fresh resources and teaching ideas.
+


The Govealo



This poem was written way back when Michael Gove was the Education Secretary.  It had a lot of people taking an interest (possibly went viral), so I thought it should have a new home on this blog.


What was interesting about Michael Gove, is that despite how much he was hated, the mention of his name would guarantee a high open rate for any emails I sent out.



The Govealo.


A pupil took a stroll through the deep dark wood.

A teacher saw the pupil and the pupil looked good.

“Where are you going to, not following rules?

"Come and have lunch in my LEA school."

"It’s terribly kind of you, Teacher, but no -

 I’m going to have lunch with a govealo."


“A govealo? What’s a govealo?"

“A govealo!  Why, didn't you know?"


He has King James Bibles, and no-notice inspections. 

Bet you wish you’d voted Labour at the last elections.


"Where are you meeting him?”

"Here in this academy canteen, 

That sells Turkey Twizzlers if you know what I mean."


"What would Jamie Oliver say?" Teacher said.

"Goodbye little pupil," and away he sped.


"Silly old Teacher! Doesn't he know? 

There’s no getting rid of a govealo!"


On went the pupil through the deep dark wood.

A head saw the pupil and the pupil looked good.

"Where are you going to with your low aspirations? 

Come to my state school  - we have high expectations."


"Its frightfully nice of you, Head, but no -

I’m going to an academy with a govealo."



"A govealo? Whats a govealo?"

" A govealo! Why, didn't you know?"


"He has lots of Conservative Party donors 

That he’s going to turn into academy owners."


"Where are you meeting him?"

"Here in this pub with a view of the water, 

And maybe we’ll see David Cameron’s daughter. "


David Cameron’s daughter? That’s a safeguarding issue! 

Goodbye little pupil." and off he flew.


"Silly old Head! Doesn't he know, 

Theres no getting rid of a govealo?"


On went the pupil through the deep dark wood.

A TA saw the pupil and the pupil looked good.

"Where are you going with poor behaviour and skills? 

Come to my state school for some ritalin pills"

"It's wonderfully kind of you, TA, but no -

I’m going to a free school with a Govealo."


"A govealo? What's a govealo?"

"A govealo!  Why didn't you know?"


"He furnished his flat at the taxpayer’s expense, 

And comes up with policies that don’t make any sense."


"Where are you meeting him?"

"Here, by the Downhills school, 

They don’t want an academy, but they’ve been overruled."


"Despite parents’ opinions? That’s not fair play!

“Goodbye, little pupil I’m going away.”


"Silly old TA!  Doesn’t she know? 

There’s no getting rid of a Goveal... 


...Oh"


But who is this creature with phonics tests 

And journalist’s skills, so he thinks he knows best?

He has a computer full of deleted emails 

and he likes to tell people that they have failed.

He’s given the teachers a three year pay freeze;

Now he wants to abolish the GCSEs


"Oh help! Oh no!"

Its a govealo!"


"My new curriculum," the Govealo said

"Is far too complex for your thick head!"


"Thick?" said the pupil. "Don’t call me thick!

I’ll have you know, that I think you’re a prick!

Just walk behind me and you'll soon see,

Everyone wants to educate me."


"All right." said the Govealo, bursting with laughter.

"You go ahead and I'll follow after."


They walked and walked till the Govealo said;

"I see a state school in the clearing ahead.”


"Its’ a TA," said the pupil. "Why, TA, hello!"

TA took one look at the Govealo.

"Do you really think that you’ll have much impact, 

Through making pupils learn lots of facts?" 


"You see?" said the pupil. "I told you so."

"Amazing!" said the Govealo.


They walked some more till the Govealo said,

"I see another LEA school up ahead.”


"It’s Head," said the pupil. "Why, Head, hello!"

Head took one look at the Govealo.

“So you plan to throw all of our work in the bin,

Just so you can bring the O-Levels back in?”


"You see?" said the pupil. "I told you so"

"Astounding!" said the Govealo.


They walked some more till the Govealo said;

"I see yet another state school up ahead."


"It’s Teacher," said the pupil. "Why, Teacher, hello!"

Teacher took one look at the Govealo.

“Just when we thought we couldn’t take any more, 

You went and appointed Sir Michael Wilshaw.”


"Well, Govealo." said the pupil. "you see? 

Everyone wants to educate me! 


But now I want educating in the new build we were promised, 

You say there’s no money, but I don’t think you’re honest!”

“Not honest? Ridiculous!” the Govealo said

I’m off to the Leveson enquiry,” he replied with some dread.


Despite good GCSEs, the pupil started to cry.

He couldn’t get a job with unemployment so high!

‹ Go Back

Company Information

The Punctuation Show and everything on this site is owned by PODCASTREVISION LTD
Director: Barrie McDermid
Company number - 06990962
VAT Reg - 978 170187
Public Liability Insurance cover for £1,000,000

The mission of The Punctuation Show is to raise attainment through entertainment and encourage pupils to learn through laughter. We aim to please in everything we do and will go out of our way to provide outstanding customer service.


Connect with The Punctuation Show on Social Media

Connect with us on the platform of your choice to get updates of what The Punctuation Show is doing and for offers, resources and competitions.

Mailing list:

By signing up to our newsletter, you get free resources in your inbox regularly to save your precious time. What's not to like?